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Literature Text
Does mother notice my visits to the bathroom
Have become more frequent of late?
And how they always seem to be after meal times
When with my parents I’ve just ate
Does she stand in the hall outside the bathroom
With her ear pressed against the door?
Wondering why the tap is running so fast
And what I’ve flushed the toilet twice for
Has she seen all of the empty sweet wrappers
Hidden under my bed when she cleans?
Does she fully understand the significance
Of what this behaviour actually means?
Is purge even a word in her vocabulary
To which she’s able to define?
Does she believe my words or my sunken eyes
When I insist to her that I am fine?
Does father notice that I spend many hours
In front of our full length mirror?
Intensely staring at my pathetic reflection
Yet the image never becomes clearer
I see something different to what he can see
A distortion of his little girl
Whose control over this food and this eating
Is the only control she has in this world
Has he tried to ignore the scars on my knuckles
From forcing my hand down my throat?
Does he understand the fear that builds within me
When my stomach begins to bloat?
Is purge even a word in his vocabulary
To which he’s able to define?
I just want this food out from under my skin
And all these thoughts from out of my mind
Have become more frequent of late?
And how they always seem to be after meal times
When with my parents I’ve just ate
Does she stand in the hall outside the bathroom
With her ear pressed against the door?
Wondering why the tap is running so fast
And what I’ve flushed the toilet twice for
Has she seen all of the empty sweet wrappers
Hidden under my bed when she cleans?
Does she fully understand the significance
Of what this behaviour actually means?
Is purge even a word in her vocabulary
To which she’s able to define?
Does she believe my words or my sunken eyes
When I insist to her that I am fine?
Does father notice that I spend many hours
In front of our full length mirror?
Intensely staring at my pathetic reflection
Yet the image never becomes clearer
I see something different to what he can see
A distortion of his little girl
Whose control over this food and this eating
Is the only control she has in this world
Has he tried to ignore the scars on my knuckles
From forcing my hand down my throat?
Does he understand the fear that builds within me
When my stomach begins to bloat?
Is purge even a word in his vocabulary
To which he’s able to define?
I just want this food out from under my skin
And all these thoughts from out of my mind
Literature
You said....
You told me “friends forever”,
More like ‘friends for now’,
As your sweet promises
Were just lies I allowed.
You said “we are best friends”,
More like ‘friends at best’,
As your solid affirmations
Were all digressed.
You told me “I need you”
More like ‘you need me’
As your statements
Were my last plea.
Why did you go?
Why did you leave?
I’m left here all alone
Trying, in us, to believe.
Literature
This Thing We Call Depression
There's a story I'd like to tell,
A story of a girl who was diagnosed.
Diagnosed with a terrifying thing,
Something that would threaten her life for years to come.
Something that she could never escape,
No matter how she ran,
No matter how she struggled.
This diagnosis was a horrific thing to the girl,
Although, not surprising at all.
The symptoms had swallowed her for days,
Weeks,
Months.
Months of this thing inside of her.
This thing that we call
Depression.
There are people who tell her,
"You're only sad."
However, that isn't the case.
See, she was never diagnosed with sadness.
Everyone knows sadness.
She was never diagnosed with emo
Literature
never become a writer
i.never become a writer.
you will become a perfectionist,
picking life apart
with a magpie's eye,
hunting for the beautiful bits
until you can make yourself
a sparkling throne
in the center of a junkyard.
ii.you will write when you're sad.
you will write when you're happy.
whenever you feel something,
you will vomit the emotion out
into some sort of literature.
when you're finished,
you'll be empty
and surrounded by
pages and pages of
everything you once were.
iii.you will try to make
pain sound delicious,
painting over the ragged wounds
with pink paint
and candy-coat lies.
you will learn
how to decorate graveyards.
everyone will play
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